The fact that women will test you is typically another very confusing aspect of women that almost always catches men off-guard. However, it’s only confusing because most men don’t understand that women will test and they’re not expecting these tests. I’m here to tell you that you should always be expecting a woman’s tests, forever, as long as you’re living and breathing.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve just started dating, you’re been in a long term relationship, married or even if she’s just a female friend. She’s going to throw tests at you to see what you’re made of. She wants to see how you handle these tests. Often these tests often come out of nowhere, and they’re designed to throw you off-center. They’re like a little sucker punch. They can sting if you’re not prepared. Women don’t do this to hurt you, however. A woman’s tests are typically instinctual and most of the time they don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Women’s shit testing is a psychologically evolved, hard-wired survival mechanism. Women will shit test men as autonomously and subconsciously as a men will stare at a woman’s big boobs. They cannot help it, and often enough, just like men staring at a nice rack or a great ass, even when they’re aware of doing it they’ll still do it. Men want to verify sexual availability to the same degree women want to verify a masculine dominance / confidence.
Why Women Will Test You
Why do women test men? Because they must to ensure they’re investing their emotions into the right man. A strong, centered man. When women test men, it’s a subtle way to filter out the weak from the strong, the insecure from the confident, and the betas from the alphas.
Over tens of thousands of years of evolution, women have developed these test. They’re often referred to as “shit tests”, and are a way to see if you’re really the strong, confident man you have lead her to believe you are. Men can fake confidence and strength to a certain degree. Women need to know, and be reassured, if you’re the real deal or not before she invests her emotions. Fail too many of her tests and you will get even more. She will constantly throw tests at you in order to snatch up the power. As I’ve discussed before, once she’s snatched the power, it’s over. Her attraction for you will plummet. The sex will decrease significantly and you’re more than likely on your way out.
Most guys don’t even see this coming, because they’re too busy defending themselves or trying to close the gap between them. While men believe they’re stomping out the flames, she just reads this as insecurity and weakness.
How To Know When It’s A Test
Since it’s always a possibility that women will test you, I’m sure you’re wondering how to know when it’s a test. These tests can come in many forms, and like I mentioned, they often come out of left field. As an example—say you just met her and you’re chatting her up. She might say, “You’re nothing but a player and I don’t date players”. Most guys begin defending themselves. You just failed her test. Instead, you may counter that accusation with something a little cocky and humorous like, “who said anything about dating?”, with a devilish smirk on your face.
Perhaps you’re already in a long term relationship and she says, “You’re getting fat! It’s gross!” The beta in you is going to want to defend yourself or to say something equally hurtful to her. Instead, you want to be indifferent to her jabs and, again, respond with a little cocky, humorous comeback, “There’s just more of me to love, sweetheart.” Then you would just wrap your arms around her and kiss her neck or something.
It’s really about showing her you’re not affected by her jabs by responding in a confident, yet playful way. Though, not in a way where you’re letting her walk all over you either. This is how you pass her tests.
Not All Tests Are Created Equal
Women will test you, always, but as I mentioned, they come in many forms. Some tests are easier to pass than others. That sweet and innocent girl, in which you fell in love, has all kinds of tests up her sleeve. Many are rather easy to deflect, if you know what to look for. Others can sting quite a bit.
A woman pulling away from you is usually a test. Yes, you got a little predictable, and she got a little bored. As a result her attraction for you has dropped a bit. The underlying purpose of her pulling away is to see how you will react. If you panic and fall apart emotionally, you fail. Frantically trying to close the gap between you two also communicates your emotional weakness. Guess what? You fail. Letting her go, on the other hand, and being indifferent about her pulling away communicates strength and confidence. You just passed her test and her attraction for you just shot up!
Always Be Prepared
Women will test you for strength and confidence. They find that attractive in men the same way we find her beauty and sexuality attractive. When you get all upset and overly-emotional, you just wreak of weakness. This only causes her to test you more, all the while losing attraction for you; especially the more you fail. The more you pass her tests, the less she will test you, because she begins to feel safe and comfortable again. Her attraction will begin rise again.
Be prepared for tests to come at any time and for any reason. As I mentioned, and to reiterate, tests aren’t just in the form of little insults. She could be testing you when she cancels a date at the last minute, she could be testing you when she puts you in the friend zone. Her tests come in many forms and sometimes it’s not so easy to tell if it is, in fact, a test. However, now that you know what to look for and how to handle it, you will get better at detecting her tests and how to respond. It will take some practice and it will also take some authentic masculine transformation on your part. In other words, you still have to keep improving on your confidence and becoming the best man you can be.
I Can Help You
Need some help in determining if your woman is testing you or how women will test you; or perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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