For most men, the idea of letting a woman earn your heart is crazy! Somewhere along the line we got this idea that men must do all the chasing, men must impress the girl, that men must prove himself to her, and men must show her how much he cares and assure her of his love for her. All the while, women only have to sit back and do the picking and choosing; like what us men think of them doesn’t matter. But do you know who she’s really choosing? The guy that does none of this stuff. She’s actually doing all those things that men feel they have to do. She’s trying to win over that aloof guy who seemingly could care less. Even worse, she’s actually falling in love this guy, while the rest of the guys are jumping through hoops and bending over backwards just to get her attention.
Don’t Try To Impress Women
It’s true that men are supposed to initiate the courtship. This is how women know you’re interested. The fact that you continue to take them out on dates, have fun with her and slowly escalate the physical intimacy between you two shows her that you’re interested. However, trying to impress her and to prove yourself is really communicating that you feel that you’re not good enough. It shows that you have to make up for it in other ways. She senses this too. So, bragging about how great you are, or dropping a bunch of money on a date, is really coming off as trying too hard win her over. You don’t need to do all this. She’s more interested in who you are as a person, if you’re a good fit for her, how you make her feel and if you excite her. If she’s feeling the chemistry and a connection, and you’re not trying so hard to impress her, she’s going to be trying to win YOU over and earn YOUR heart.
Women WANT To Earn Your Heart
Women love a little mystery and challenge in a man. It raises her level of attraction for you. She likes the mystery because, she wants to wonder about you, talk about you with her girlfriends and experience a love story slowly unfolding. She enjoy the challenge because, it gives you more value if she has to work a bit to earn your heart.
We all value things more when we have to put in some effort to earn it. And as I’ve stated before, women want a man of value. If you’re doing all the work, putting in all the effort, always reassuring her and giving her nothing to wonder about, of course her attraction for you won’t be as high as it could be. There’s no challenge, nor mystery about you. She has you all figured out from the beginning and knows what to expect. Where’s the excitement in that?
If you continue to put in all the effort, always reassure her and always available to her, any attraction she has for you will eventually completely evaporate. There’s nothing to stimulate her imagination or her emotions. Women are emotional beings and they want to feel a wide spectrum of emotions. Of course they prefer those feel-good emotions, but even feeling good all the time will eventually get boring and predictable.
Let The Love Story Unfold
It’s important that you just focus on getting her out on dates, having fun with her and gently leading things into the bedroom. Don’t worry about trying to impress her or prove how great of a boyfriend you’d make. That doesn’t work the way that you think it does. Let her earn your heart first. If you make her feel good and excited by just being in your presence, she’s going to want more of you. Then you simply allow her the space and time to show you how much more she wants of you. She’ll begin initiating contact with you more, she’ll express wanting to see you more and just want to connect with you on every level. You just continue to make dates with her, focus on having fun and escalating the physical intimacy. In the dating stage, that’s all men have to do.
Just remember, if you’re always chasing women, you’re really chasing them away. And if you’re always trying to prove yourself, you’re really only proving to her that you’re lacking value in other areas.
I Can Help You
Having trouble allowing women to earn your heart? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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