Bad boys, douche bags, dicks, assholes…why do women love jerks and find them so irresistible? The truth is, they don’t; not the “jerk” part at least. It’s actually certain behaviors these guys possess that women love. It’s not the jerk them self.
So, Why Do Women Love Jerks?
It’s not something that they consciously choose to do. A woman doesn’t set out to go find herself the perfect jerk. But the truth is, women love jerks!
Many women say that they want a nice guy but, when you ask them how long they dated the last “nice guy” it usually wasn’t very long at all; a couple of dates, tops. On the other hand when you ask them how long they dated the jerk it was typically long term, or perhaps she is still with that jerk. It’s not that they are lying about what they want. The logical part of their brain fighting with the deep emotional part of their brain that triggers this attraction, and attraction isn’t a conscious choice. Most women do want a guy who is kind to them and the people around them, however these jerks have many masculine qualities that naturally attract women. Their emotions are triggered and the logical part of their brain begins to rationalize why these so-called jerks are actually great guys.
This doesn’t mean that you have to become a jerk to attract women. Believe me, I’m no jerk. I just can’t bring myself to be that type of guy no matter how hard I may try (yes, I’ve tried). There was a time in my life where I thought the only way to attract the quality women I was after was to just be a total dick, because on the surface that’s the type of guys I saw these women going for. However, like most, I only saw the abusive “jerk” part and not the underlying behaviors they possessed that drove the ladies wild. It’s really their masculine behaviors that catch a woman’s attention and not them acting like a complete dick.
Women love jerks because they are:
- Unpredictable – Anything can happen from one day to the next and this can be exciting.
- Bold – They say what’s on their mind and they do what they feel.
- Challenging – If she wants him, she is going to have to work for it.
- Confident – They’re completely comfortable with who they are, flaws and all.
- Indifferent – They could take it or leave it. They’re happy either way.
- Assertive – They take the lead without asking for anyone’s permission.
- Authentic – They’re not at all afraid to be themselves & always are.
- Self-Validating – They know(think) they’re pretty great & don’t need anyone to tell them.
- Dominant – What they say goes. Period.
- Mysterious – She can never quite tell where she stands with him.
- Wild/uncontrollable – If only she could tame him.
- Unresponsive – They call/text when they get around to it, if ever.
- Non-expressive – They rarely, if at all, share their emotions/feelings.
- Evasive – They always seem like they’re running the other way.
The fact is, women love the chase and to win a man over despite what society and the movies tell us. You too can adapt many of these behaviors to trigger her attraction for you, however there is a catch; authenticity. You may have noticed that one of the qualities listed above is “authenticity”. If you can’t adapt these behaviors authentically it’s just manipulation and game playing. You may be able to attract her initially, but sooner or later she will catch on that it’s all a game or a facade and she will feel played, and no one likes to feel like a chump. Her attraction will plummet and there’s little to no hope to turning that around.
You can still be a kind and charming man while being masculine. It may not feel like a natural part of you, but you can practice until you no longer have to think about it. However, it will take some time and effort. If you play your cards right you can be that guy all the other “nice guys” are resenting in silence because that gorgeous girl they were just buying drinks for is now giving you her phone number.
Do you have a question about your relationship? Send me a message of 2-3 paragraphs explaining your situation & I may use it in an upcoming post (your privacy will be respected).
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