Part of my job is to bring you men the truth. Sometimes that truth hurts, but it’s important for you to understand in order to make good decisions with women and in life. Probably one of the toughest pills to swallow when it comes women and romantic relationships is, that women do not love unconditionally; at least they do not love men unconditionally.
I can hear my female readers screaming, “That’s not true! I love my man no matter what!”
Well, women WILL love unconditionally when they’re happy with you, as a man; completely infatuated or head over heels in love with you. However, that’s because you have met all, or most, of her internal and external conditions. Those conditions, and whether or not you can meet them, are always subject to change.
I’m not saying that women are cold-hearted, because they do love their children unconditionally. However, when it comes to men, women are always wondering if they can do better. It’s just their hypergamous nature. There’s nothing anyone can do to change that. This is why they’re constantly testing and screening men, even many years into the relationship. They need to KNOW that the man they’re with has the best genes and is the strongest man they can attract. This man must have the most resources, can make them smile, can make them scream in the bedroom, an interesting man whom she can’t quite figure out, and perhaps most importantly, the man who will not take her, or anyone else’s, shit. All this, while still making her feel special, loved and appreciated.
And when you start slipping up, acting weak, or become to comfortable and complacent, they become unsure about you and begin stirring things up, testing again.
Men Love Idealistically
Most men have a very idealistic outlook of love. We generally feel that once a woman falls in love with us, she will be in love with us forever.
We will say things like, “She should love me for who I am”, or “We’re married…it’s for better or worse”.
In a perfect world, all those things are true. She SHOULD love you for who you are, she SHOULD be there for you for better or for worse, but that’s just not how women view love; at least on a subconscious level.
Now, women may view love like that on a conscious level, because they would expect that from you; however, deep down, women have a much more opportunistic outlook of love, at least in the long term. Once the honeymoon phase begins to fade, and the infatuation wears off, women begin to wonder if you will be a good long term partner; what can you do for them. She begins asking herself things like, “Is he going to make a good father? Will he be able to protect me and our children? Is he a man that will stand up to face difficult situations & danger? Will he be able to provide for me and our children?” And ultimately, “Will he make me happy?”
It’s a bit selfish on women’s part, because they’re not really thinking about what they bring to the table. However, whether they consciously realize it or not, when it comes to choosing men, women are always thinking in terms of their own and their current or potential children’s survival.
Women Do Not Love Unconditionally
As a man, you have to be thinking about what she brings into the relationship besides a pretty face, a hot body and good sex. While those are all important, it’s not the only important things, as many men believe. Looks fade and all the hot sex will most likely taper-off a bit over time. A great piece of ass is fantastic in the moment, but that’s not going to cut it long term.
As men we have this romantic idea of long term love; once we agree to commitment or slip a ring on her finger, she’s ours forever. In our minds, we got the girl and she will never leave us. However, for women, they’re never 100% sure; even 30 years into the relationship. Women may want that wedding, or children, but the harsh reality of all this is, men are expendable.
I realize that’s a depressing statement, but it’s reality. It’s important you understand this so you make good decisions with women and don’t become too attached. I can tell you from both my personal and professional experiences, once you begin to believe she’s yours forever is when she begins to slip away.
You always want to keep in mind that whatever you did to attract her and get her to fall in love with you in the first place, you must maintain throughout the entire relationship.
Once You Have “Got The Girl”
One of the most common pieces of advice I find myself continually giving men is, to be the man that she fell in love with.
Because men have this idealistic outlook on love, they often become complacent in the relationship once they have “got the girl”. And the stability of a marriage, or long term relationship, rests mostly on the happiness of the woman. So, if she isn’t happy, she will become bitchy, withdrawn, the sex will come to a screeching halt. If you continue to not maintain her attraction, she will most likely either suck it up and be miserable, making you miserable in return, or she will cheat or leave the relationship. Again, this is reality, as women do not love unconditionally.
Statistically women initiate more than 75% of the divorces and breakups. And that number doesn’t even include those women who drove their boyfriends or husbands to end it.
Women date, mate and marry UP in terms of sexual market value; and they will always be uncontrollably drawn to the most alpha man that she can attract. This is essentially hypergamy, And ALL women are innately hypergamous. So, you can’t start slacking because you got the girl, because her instinct will lead her to what she believes to be a better man. This is why women simply CANNOT love unconditionally.
Keeping Women In Love With You
This doesn’t mean that you should be losing sleep worrying about weather or not your girl will cheat or leave you. This will only cause you to become weak and insecure if your thoughts are always on that. This will make it even more likely that she will take those actions.
Instead, besides doing the same things that attracted her to begin with(ie: dating/courting her, sharing similar interests, treating her like your lover first and foremost, etc.) you also want to be sure that you’re always improving yourself. Do this by focusing on your purpose, remaining strong through her emotional storms, and taking the lead in the relationship. Additionally, you also must see yourself as the prize at ALL TIMES.
If you can do that your girl will treat you with love and respect. She will keep herself fit and sexy, have a genuine sexual desire for you, and perhaps most importantly, remain loyal and invested.
If you want to keep her, and keep her in love, you cannot start slacking and/or neglecting her, either. It doesn’t matter if it’s building your career and chasing your goals, she will take your neglect as you not caring. You must always be dating and courting her and making her feel special. Becoming weak, needy and insecure will drive her away, as well. Her love is conditional and you will be no longer meeting those conditions.
At this point, you can expect her affection to drop, the sex to to be throttled, and the nagging and bitching to increase. You may also notice an uptick in “girls night out” and just general distance and coldness.
This doesn’t mean that women don’t have to hold up their end as well and keep you happy, but this is for you men.
So, keep your game tight, focus on what you must do to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. Just make sure she feels loved and special, but without making her your everything. And always remember that women do not love unconditionally.
I Can Help You
Have you noticed that your girl’s love is slipping away? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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