When I was younger, and before I learned the importance to take dating slow, I used to rush the process myself. I figured, if we were dating it automatically meant that we were now in a relationship. Even more so if I slept with her. I would think that we had to begin a serious relationship now; mainly because that’s what I thought the girl wanted. But, as Hunter Drew from the Family Alpha says, “you have to love her the way you want to love her, not the way that you think she wants to be loved.”
Too often, when a guy begins to date a woman, he’s in a rush to the finish line; a relationship. However, a romantic relationship is a marathon, not a sprint. Most women understand this and they are quite objective with men they are getting to know. As they go on dates, a woman will take dating sow. She’s thinking something along the lines of, “Is this guy good for me?”
Men, on the other hand, are ready to give away their heart just because they’re attracted to a woman. She’s hot, so he thinks that this is the girl for him. How many times have you heard a guy say when he sees a very attractive woman, “I’m going to marry that girl!”? Most guys want to lock a girl down, because he’s afraid some other guy is going to come along and snatch her up. But she’s taking her time to find out what this guy is all about. She needs to know if he’s the man that she thinks he is.
In this article I’m going to talk about why it’s important that you take dating slow with a woman and what you’re actually communicating to her by rushing the process.
Men Typically Do Not Take Dating Slow
Society, religion and the media have lead us all to believe that men are supposed to chase women and lock them down. While it’s true that it’s the masculine role to initiate the courtship, what is not masculine is continuing to chase her and getting her to commit. It’s actually men who are the gatekeepers of relationships, not the other way around. Only in the last 50+ years, or so, has society tried to reverse the roles of how men and women approach dating, courting and relationships. For thousands of years prior to that, it’s always been the feminine role to lock a man of value down.
On a evolutionary scale, it’s a man’s nature to impregnate as many women as possible. However, it’s a woman’s nature to trap and settle down with the strongest man that she can attract. Contrary to popular belief, studies show it’s actually men who fall in love quicker than women. Women have to take their time to be sure that a man is truly the strongest that her SMV (Sexual Market Value) allows. So, women are typically quite patient as they objectively test his strength to discover if he’s the man that he presents himself to be.
Men, on the other hand, are sold almost immediately based strictly on a woman’s beauty. The problem here is that men are overlooking everything that makes the woman. Just because she’s beautiful doesn’t mean that she has a good heart. She could be a total whack-job who will make your life miserable. If we were still living back in the caveman days, where the goal were to just impregnate as many women as possible, this wouldn’t even be an issue. You would just do your manly duties and move on to the next girl. However, we have evolved and these days we have marriage and long term relationships.
Why It’s Important To Take Dating Slow
Rushing the dating and courting process, you’re actually communicating is that you don’t see yourself as worthy. Why would you need to rush and lock her down if you’re a man of value? If you’re a high value man, a woman is going to want to keep you all to herself. She won’t let you go, at least not permanently, because she knows that you’re a catch. Very rarely does a man like that come into her life.
So, you just want to take dating slow and do not give away your heart so easily. You want to be just as objective about her as she is about you. Discover what makes her tick, or if she’s waving any giant red flags. And by doing so, if she sees you adding value to her life, she will be working to win YOU over. Women are much more attracted to men who they feel that they have to overcome obstacles to win his heart. Not only does it give her a sense of accomplishment, but it will be also adding more value to you.
Just take it slow. There’s no rush. If some guy can so easily snatch her up, she wasn’t the girl for you anyway.
I Can Help You
If you need help reading the signs she’s attracted to you or not, or perhaps you are having some issues with your dating and/or relationships. I can help. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
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