I was coaching a guy earlier about his girlfriend not responding to texts he was sending her. He spoke to her the night before and she told him that she would text him the next day, but approximately 24 hours later, and after he sent her a few more texts, he still hadn’t heard anything from her. This is a common issue for a lot of men and women in dating and relationships. This is how to handle it for future reference.
When She’s Not Responding To Texts
A lot of people see this as an act of disrespect or rudeness. While that can be the case at times, other times people are just busy and you must accept that. Sometimes it’s just not about you, and it’s actually a form of neediness. No one likes needy behavior and women especially find it to be a major turn-off. There is no set time frame that someone must respond to your texts. I once didn’t hear back from a girl I was in a serious relationship with for days, and she didn’t even have an explanation. So shake off that nervous anxiety and follow these simple tips to get her to respond quicker without having to say a word to her about it.
Put Your Phone Away
Stop checking your phone every few minutes to see if she responded yet. Better yet, set it down somewhere out of sight, put it on silent mode and get busy doing something else. Out of sight, out of mind.
One of the biggest mistakes guys make is keeping their phone in plain view and constantly wondering, “why is she taking so long to reply?” And because they keep thinking about it they make the BIG mistake of double texting. Nothing conveys neediness like a guy who keeps texting her when she’s not responding to texts right away, or taking a bit longer than normal. I guarantee that checking your phone every few minutes isn’t going to get her to respond any quicker.
So the next time you’re texting with your girl, send your text, then put your phone away and focus on something else. This may even cause her to wonder why YOU are not texting back right away, because now you’re the one busy, and you will be taking your time to respond. You’re busy after all.
Stop The Negative Self Talk
When the heart is involved we tend to overthink and it’s almost always negative, and those negative thoughts tend to snowball from there. Before you know it you have some completely ridiculous scenario conjured up in your head that isn’t even close to being true. Anxiety begins to set in and again you’re double texting or worse, showing up at her place or where she’s at. Stalker-like behavior isn’t just unattractive, it’ll scare the crap out of her to the point where she won’t be wanting to see you anytime soon.
Turn those negative thoughts into positive ones. Instead of asking yourself why she’s not responding to texts, tell yourself that she’s just playing hard to get. Or, if you want to be even more realistic, just assume she’s busy and she’ll get back to you when she has the time.
Do Not Make Her Your Purpose
While it’s counter-intuitive, women don’t actually want to be your main or only purpose in life. It seems sweet in the movies, but in reality it puts a ton of pressure on them and is quite smothering and clingy.
You must find your passions and purpose in life that doesn’t revolve around her. Your purpose is what drives you. It’s something you must do. It’s what what gets you out of bed in the morning and ready to take on the day. It’s who you are! And I would bet your purpose is one of the qualities that attracted her to you in the first place. You can not give it up! If you haven’t found it yet, keep searching until you do.
Your passions are typically your hobbies that you just love to participate in. Of course she can share those passions with you but, it’s important that you do them regardless. They will keep your life interesting, which will keep you interesting to her. You will have more to talk about with her and you won’t constantly be around each other, which eventually causes boredom to set in.
Keep Your Options Open
If you’re not in a serious relationship with her (yet), you should be dating other women as well as her. By keeping your options open you’re devoting less mental and emotional energy on that one woman. Think about it; if you’re dating two or three other girls you’re not going to be worried if that one is not responding to texts in certain amount of time.
Dating multiple women doesn’t only help with texting anxiety either; you’ll always have a date, you’ll never be chasing women and girls find men with options very attractive.
Make The Interaction Enticing
Women get bored easy, and they’re typically used to guys saying and doing the same ole things. It’s boring and predictable. Of course she’s going to get back to when she feels like it. The key is to make your texting interesting, fun, mysterious and exciting. Do you think a woman is going to take her time responding when you’re so enticing?
Texting her “heyyy” isn’t going to have her jumping for the phone to respond right away. However, using a little creativity and spice to get the ball rolling will pique her curiosity. Provided she’s not busy with something important, she definitely won’t be taking her time responding because, she wants to know what you will say next.
Do Not Confront Her
Getting upset and butt-hurt about her not responding to texts is the opposite of attractive. This communicates your desperation and insecurity, and women find that to be a HUGE turn-off. They like men who are confident and certain where they stand. So, unless it was some sort of emergency, in which you should’ve called her anyway, let it go. It’s not the end of the world.
If you need some help with someone not responding to texts, getting your needy behavior under control, or are having any issues in your dating and/or relationship please visit my coaching page and book a one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
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