Most of us have all been put into the friendzone at least once in our lives, yet so many of us never really realize why this happened. It’s an age old question and today I’m going to explain the likely reasons why she friendzoned you. Was I not good-looking enough? Was I not funny enough? Was I too much of a jerk? Was I too much of a nice guy?
What Is The Friendzone?
According to Wikipedia, the friendzone is a situation in which one member of a friendship wishes to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship, while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable or dreaded situation by the lovelorn person.
In other words, you really like her but to her you’re nothing more than a platonic, brother-like friend. Ouch! She may think you’re cute, but not in a sexual way. You may be her confidant, but you’re most likely the emotional tampon for when the guys that she does find that burning, sexual desire for turns out to be a jerk. There’s no romance, there’s no sex, there’s just…friendship. While a close friendship with any person you admire is great, you want so much more. Yeah, it sucks! If only she saw your good qualities she would fall head over heels in love with you, right? Wrong! She sees those good qualities, otherwise she wouldn’t be friends with you in the first place. It’s the unattractive qualities that is keeping you in the friendzone.
Reasons Why She Friendzoned You
Most men believe that it’s her that’s just not getting it. She keeps going out with these guys who are clearly jerks and complaining about them while you’re right there. The truth is, either you were a contender for a potential romantic partner and you blew it, or you were never on her radar because of your own behavior. In other words, it’s not her, it’s you! Below I’ve laid out the top 8 reasons why she friendzoned you.
You’re too needy
You’re lacking in your life; therefore you are putting all the burden on her to fill that void. You have no other romantic options and you have become completely fixated on her. You have a mentality that if she were to just choose you that the rest of your life will all come together and you will live happily ever after. If you’re lonely and unfulfilled in life, focusing all your attention and energy on her may seem like a logical conclusion in order to show her that you’re dedicated and committed. However, women are attracted to men who have options; not just romantic, but in their personal life in general.
You’re too available
You’re basically at her beck and call whenever she wants to hang out or needs someone to talk to. Again, logically, this may seem like a good way to show her that you’re reliable and boyfriend material, however what you’re really communicating is that you have no life (see above). If it hasn’t already, it will eventually get to the point where she doesn’t even appreciate it anymore and begins to take you for granted. There’s no mystery or challenge involved for her and that is just boring and predictable.
You’re too fearful
You’re too afraid you may upset or offend her. This communicates that you lack self-worth, because why would any woman like a man who says and does what’s on his mind? Of course I’m being sarcastic, because women respect a man who doesn’t feel he has to walk on eggshells around her and will go for what he wants without fear. Just say what’s on your mind and do what you feel is right. You will be surprised that she actually respects you for it, even though she may not agree with you; and that’s okay of she doesn’t.
Your intentions are not clear
She may have no clue that you like her any more than just a friend. You may think it’s obvious, but if you haven’t made a move then why and/or how would she know? As far as she’s concerned you’re just being a nice guy who wants to be her friend. Flirt with her, be playful with her; and when the time seems right just go in for the kiss. Stop overthinking it! If she rejects you, don’t take it personal. Tomorrow is another day and she just might start seeing of you in a different light.
You’re seeking her approval
When you’re constantly seeking her approval, you’re really displaying to her that you lack confidence. Most men do this by over complimenting her, buying her gifts, taking her to fancy dinners and bragging about their accomplishments in order to impress her. Of course there is nothing wrong with doing those things, but you want it to come from the heart and not in an attempt to get into her pants. It’s manipulative and women see right through this behavior.
You’re too accepting
When you’re too accepting, you’re essentially allowing her to walk all over you, and no woman respects a doormat. If you don’t like how she’s treating you, stand up for yourself! If you don’t want to participate in whatever activity she suggests, say something! She may push back a bit, but I can guarantee that the likelihood of her ever doing it again are slim to none. If you don’t speak up, she will assume that you’re completely cool with it and continue. Thus, you’re inviting her to treat you this way.
You’re not being the leader
I’m sure you’ve heard many jokes about how women can never decide on which restaurant they would like to go to. That’s because she doesn’t want to make that decision; she wants you, the man, to make that decision. Of course she has her own opinion, and hopefully she feels worthy enough to state her opinion, but she wants you to be decisive and take the lead. So, stop with that ridiculous back-and-forth–“what do you want to do?” “I dunno, what do you want to do?”–and just make a decision already!
She’s just not that into you
And finally, one of the most overlooked reasons why she friendzoned you…she’s just not into you. As dating guru David DeAngelo says, “attraction isn’t a choice”. Sometimes you can do everything right, have good looks, be charming and funny, and she’s still not interested. It has nothing to do with you. You just don’t tick enough of the boxes for her and that’s okay because, as I stated above, by now you should have other romantic options. That doesn’t mean that you can’t remain platonic friends with her, just don’t expect anything will come of it.
So there you have the main reasons why she friendzoned you. I’m currently working on a FREE ebook that will teach you how to get out of the friendzone and stay out for good! If you want to be notified when it’s ready, just sign up for our free newsletter. If you’re viewing this on a desktop or laptop, just go scroll up and you will see the newsletter signup form at the top right sidebar. If you’re viewing this on your mobile phone, scroll down below the comments section and viola!
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