If you’ve been following me for a while, or that of many other coaches, you’ve probably heard that you never want to lose your cool. You always want to remain emotionally centered with women; be their rock. This is very true. Women want and NEED a strong man to lean on; especially through difficult times. Allowing emotions to run untethered is feminine energy; hence, if you have no emotional self control you WILL turn women off and be devalued.
Just the other day a woman confided in me about some of the difficulties she was facing in her relationship. She never mentioned anything about him crying or sobbing, but she did mention how angry he’s been. She didn’t follow that with saying how strong her angry man is, but she did continually tell me how “weak” he is, a “cry-baby”, and how he was acting like a “little girl”. And this is coming from a very sweet and feminine woman. She’s not some masculine, ball-buster by any means.
My point is, girls have zero respect for overly-emotional men. That’s a fact. That doesn’t mean that you can’t express emotion, but you must learn to do it in a very controlled sort of way. This includes anger. However, you will occasionally encounter situations where emotions are running so high that they come to a boiling point and you will lose your cool. But what does that do for her attraction?
Emotional Self Control
Now, emotional self control is important for both men and women; not just in terms of romantic relationships, but in everyday life. Not only does a lack of emotional control communicate weakness, but you can’t make good, rational decisions when emotions are running too high. Of course women can get away with this a bit more, because it’s expected from them, but that’s still no excuse.
Men, on the other hand, will lose the respect from both women and other men when they can’t control their emotions. However, once in a while your girl is going to really piss you off. I’m not talking about her being a little annoying, taking little jabs at your ego, giving you mixed signals, or the like. I’m talking about those times when she has blatantly crossed the line. Sometimes it may not even be her who has pushed you way too far; perhaps it was someone else. The point I’m trying to make is, that there will be some rare times when blowing your top is completely just. No matter how ylou decide to handle the situation, make no mistake about it, you MUST take a stand.
Is It Okay To Lose Your Cool?
Of course it’s always best that you try to keep your cool. However, it’s those rare times when you DO lose your cool that will actually help maintain her attraction as long as it’s very infrequent. This is partly because, unpredictability and volatility are male attractiveness traits. Once a woman begins to think of you as predictable, she begins to get bored. The mystery and challenge that is you begins to wane. And once a woman begins to feel that she has you all figured out, it really is the beginning of the end, in terms of, the attraction she feels for you.
So, very occasionally when you lose your cool it will only keep her on her toes. This translates into long lasting desire; or at least helping to maintain that desire. Nothing sends a woman’s libido through the roof like anxiety and emotional instability, contrary to popular belief. Of course on a logical level women want the exact opposite of that. However, like I said, unpredictability, volatility and emotional stimulation, whether positive or negative emotions, is the equivalent of using the pied piper on her emotionally, leaving her wanting your love and attention.
As a side note, I just want to be very clear here, to lose your cool does NOT mean putting your hands on a woman…ever! Strong, masculine men never ever have to resort to violence and/or abuse in order to maintain anything with a woman.
Overall you want to stay calm and grounded through her storms; both for yourself and in order to be the rock for your girl. Though, on those rare occasions—and I can’t overstate ‘rare occasions’ enough—don’t worry about when you lose your cool. It will only help you in the long run.
I Can Help You
Did you lose your cool and now your girl is upset with you? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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