I know that just about all of you have experienced that sinking feeling of, “I think she’s going to dump me”. You’ve noticed that she’s taking longer & longer to respond to your text messages or phone calls. When she finally does respond her text message are short & cold. Perhaps she’s becoming less & less available to see you; you can tell that you’re just not much of a priority. And when you do see each other, she’s rather cold & unaffectionate. By now you can feel it coming; you feel it in our gut. You feel that anxiety, the fear, the uncertainty, & feel that at any moment she’s going to drop the bomb.
If you’re like most men, panic begins to set in. You’re trying to figure out what you can do to get things back to where they once were, before she began to cool off. You’re most likely thinking that maybe you’re not being nice enough, not romantic enough, you haven’t been available enough, you don’t text enough, or you’re not doing enough of what she asks of you. Now, unless you’re a complete prick or give her absolutely zero attention, I can tell you for sure that none of what I just mentioned is the problem, no matter what your situation is.
Do you know how I know that? Because just about all men go through this exact scenario. Some even find themselves in this situation over & over again. You’re probably feeling that wave of frustration coming over you, thinking to yourself, “I can’t believe this is happening again! I thought this girl was different! Just a couple months ago she was just telling me how much she loves me. She even made me promise her that I would never leave her. Now she wants to dump me?”.
I know this, because I used to go through these exact same scenarios when I was younger, & I’ve talked to so many of you who have also experienced similar situations.
She’s not losing interest for the reasons you think, & all the jumping through hoops & supplicating to her isn’t going to change how she feels. So, what can you do when things have gotten to this point & you’re feeling like, “she’s going to dump me”?
Her Attraction Is Dropping
You have to understand that, what’s really happening here is her attraction for is dropping, or it has already been lost. In other words, she’s just not turned on by you at this point. However, I say “at this point”, because this is something that you can turn around if she hasn’t completely lost attraction for you. If her attraction is too far gone then there’s nothing that you can do. If a woman’s attraction for a man drops too low, it’s over for good. But, it’s difficult to know for sure if she’s at that point. So, if you care about her & want her, then I recommend that you try to turn it around regardless.
How does a woman lose attraction for a man? There are many reasons, many of which I’ve spoken about before, but for all intents & purposes we’re going to stick to the main factors driving her attraction levels for you into he ground.
You’re Too Boring
One, women do not like boring men. If you’re like many men; your conversation, text messages, & the time you spend with her is boring. Unfortunately this most likely means that your life is also quite boring. Always remember that women are emotional creatures & they need to have their emotions stimulated in order for them to find excitement. This means that you need to spice up your conversation, start taking her on fun & creative dates, & perhaps most importantly, you must start LIVING life. Women love interesting men. They can easily get a boring guy that does nothing with his life. They want a guy that makes life fun, exciting & interesting.
You’re Too Predictable
Two, women do not like predictable men. Yes, this falls in line with a boring man, because predictability is boring…plain & simple. Predictability is usually the result of doing & saying the same ole things, & women are typically pretty good predicting your predictable behavior. In order to mix it up a bit, think before you do or say things. Do or say something completely different than what your instinct tells you to do. Break patterns & routines, & keep her guessing a bit. Women need to wonder about you & wonder what will happen next in order to keep her interest.
You’re Too Weak & Desperate
Finally, women do not like weak, needy, desperate men. This means that you must stop chasing her so much. Stop being so overly reassuring towards her. Challenge her a bit. Stop supplicating to her. And stop allowing her to manipulate you. Instead, you want to start speaking your mind & start doing your own thing with or without her. Of course invite her along, but if she can’t or won’t join you, do it anyway. And more than anything, you MUST stand up for yourself & not allow her to walk all over you. Women will only treat you like a doormat if you let them. Hell, everyone will treat you like a doormat if you allow it. Women are no different in that respect.
Time For An Upgrade
If you notice that you’re doing any or all of these things, then it’s time for you to make some changes. And I don’t want to hear how this isn’t being authentic or not being yourself. Wrong! All of you have the capacity to grab life by the balls & be a better man. So, just stop with the excuses, because making excuses for yourself is just weak. If you really want it, you will find a way. Of course making these changes is going to take some time. You’re not going to be able to do this overnight. You might be able to temporarily fake it here & there, which is perfectly fine, but women are going to test you. You must be prepared!
If you’ve been watching my videos, then you know women test you when they sense weakness. However, they also test you when you’ve made rather sudden & significant changes in your behavior or personality. So, just be prepared for that if you’re making big or sudden changes.
She’s Going To Dump Me!
The fact that you feel like she’s lost interest & about to dump you is the immediate problem here. If you have the hunch that this is about to happen, then you’re probably right. Always trust your gut feeling. So, what’s the best coarse of action here? It’s counterintuitive, but you want to do here is to breakup with her first. Yes, breakup wit HER first.
Now, I’m not going to sugarcoat this for you; this is very difficult, especially when you love her & feel that she’s already slipping away. The last thing that you want is to lose her, but now I’m telling you that you should breakup with her. What’s up with that?
Take The Power Back
Well, by doing this you’re conveying the opposite of neediness, the opposite of boring, the opposite of predictable. Instead you’re essentially sending her a message that you have value, that you’re indifferent to an outcome, & that you’re not going to be putting up this. In turn, she’s going to be wondering what the hell just happened?
Now, what you have to be prepared for is if she goes along with it, which she may…for now. So, whatever you do, you must stick with that & stand your ground. You can’t start backpedaling & say, “Oh my god. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it! Can we get back together?” Because if you do she’s going to immediately feel that you’re weak, that you can’t stick to your word & decisions. She’ll see you as indecisive & insecure; both major woman repellents.
So, cut the cord & if she asks why, just tell her that you’re not feeling it, that the current situation isn’t going to work for you. This isn’t a lie or game playing. You haven’t been feeling the love from her. You don’t like the dynamic lately. Just don’t go into any deep explanations & don’t feel guilty about it. If you’re at this point she was about to dump you anyway. Now it’s no longer, “Oh my god, she’s going to dump me!” Now it’s YOU dumping HER. You are no longer powerless. You’re now the one holding the power. You’re taking control of the frame.
Afterwards, you want to go into no contact & immediately begin working on yourself. Focus on the areas were you were lacking.
Will She Come Back?
There are no guarantees that you’ll hear form her again, so you have to be prepared for that. In fact, you want to begin moving on right away, because you don’t know if you’ll hear from her again. But, you most likely will be hearing from her at some point, because you just demonstrated strength & confidence. These are two of the most attractive masculine traits to women. And it’s important that you’re working on yourself, because if she does come back you don’t to fall right back into the same patterns that got you here to begin with. Otherwise you’ll repeat this whole thing all over again, & this time it might not work in your favor.
If & when she does reach out to after you breaking-up with her, you want to be sure that she’s putting in a little effort to win YOU back. Remember, she lost you & if she wants you back, she will have to earn it. When you interact, you want to have an upbeat attitude, like you’re unaffected by this break up, but also like you still care about her. It’s more like you’re accepting of what happened between you two & that’s just the breaks.
She Must Earn You Back
You also want her to at least hint at the idea of getting back together before you give her too much of your time. If she’s not hinting at it or showing interest, then politely end the conversation, telling her to keep in touch. This will communicate that she has to take action if she wants you, but the door is open for her.
If she does show interest, then suggest that she come over to your place where you two can make dinner together or something. Whatever it is you suggest, you want her to come to you & you want to do something that’s a little romantic where you’re both participating. Do not take her out to a fancy dinner or anything similar at this time, because then you would be doing everything for her. Remember, she was losing interest & about to breakup with you. You don’t want to reward her for that. But you CAN reward her for putting in the effort to spend some time with you.
If she does come to you, do not talk about getting back together or any serious relationship stuff. As a man, YOU are the gatekeeper to commitment, just as women are the gatekeepers to sex. You want to make sure that she begins to put consistent effort into you before you even consider turning this into something exclusive again.
Now you don’t have to worry, “Is she going to dump me?”, because you have the power to change this. Like I said, it doesn’t always work perfectly, but you WILL gain her respect again, which means you have a much more likely chance of re-attracting her.
I Can Help You
Are you currently thinking, “I feel she’s going to dump me”? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, attraction, women, dating/relationships.
If you would like to watch my video “I Feel She’s Going To Dump Me” click here
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