Let’s face it, no man wants a sad, insecure girlfriend. While it’s not your job to make her confident and happy, it IS your job to bring out her best.
I talk a lot about what not to do with women. The reason for this is, because all men have game to some extent; some more than others. So, by me explaining what not to do-the things that turn women off-you’re really exhibiting the version of yourself she already likes; minus the stuff all women find to be a turn-off. Essentially, you’re pulling back the unattractive traits and pushing forward what already makes you naturally attractive. However, it’s also helpful to know some other things that you can do in order to draw your girl in and closer to you; boosting both her attraction and affection.
Understand that women fall for the men that not only stimulate their emotions, but also the men that make them feel special and unique. For all of us, both men and women, that initial infatuation is sparked due to how the other person makes us feel about ourselves. If you talk to a woman whom you’re interested in, or you’re dating, the same way all the other men talk to her, it does nothing in raising her attraction, or making her feel unique. So, it’s helpful for you to know some things that you can do that a lot of men don’t do. One of those things is, to bring out her best.
Getting To Know Her
If you have genuine interest in a woman you’re going to want to get to know her better. Many men are more concerned about selling themselves when they begin to date a woman. They hope they will draw women closer and she will like him more this way. They brag, they boast, they explain why they are a certain way. All this really does is communicate to women that they’re insecure and lacking in certain areas. So, men feel they have to almost oversell themselves, otherwise woman won’t like them. They think women aren’t picking this up, but women really are and this behavior is working against men.
I used to do these same sort of things when I was younger. I wanted women to know certain things about me, hoping that it would gain their interest. It never worked. At the time I didn’t realize why it didn’t work, but I later discovered I was dissipating all the mystery for her. But, I digress.
Instead, what you want to do, both when you first begin dating a woman and throughout the entire relationship is, encourage her to be the person she sees herself as being, or wants to be. Bring out her best.
It’s Important To Listen
Society has put many constraints on women and they’re often fearful of letting their true self be known. Now, this isn’t about “poor women” and how they have it so hard. I don’t agree with that. For the most part, I feel women have it made, at least in the West. This is about bringing out the best in a woman whom you have a growing interest or infatuation. It’s about understanding the challenge in that, why it’s challenging and why it’s necessary in building rapport, trust and intimacy, raising her attraction, and deepening her affection for you.
It’s really not that difficult after you know what you need to do. However, it does require you to do something that a lot of men are not very good at when it comes to women, and that is…listening.
How To Bring Out Her Best
In order to begin to bring out her best, what you want to do is ask women questions about themselves. You don’t want to ask her your typical, boring, interview-style questions…where did you grow up? How many brothers and sisters do you have? What do you do for a living?
Those are all questions I’m sure you want to know the answers, and there’s nothing wrong with asking them. However, you really want to focus your questions more on topics that are fun and thought-provoking to answer. But, like I said, you need to actually listen to her answers and ask more questions based on her answers. Find out what’s important to her, what has deep meanings for her, what she wants out of life. Not only are you learning some valuable information about her and getting to know her, but studies have shown that the person who is sharing about themselves is actually feeling closer to the person with whom they’re sharing. In other words, she will begin to feel closer to you for simply sharing personal information about herself.
You will also get a feel for who the real woman is and how she prefers to view herself, or the person she wants to become. And once you begin to get a feel for this, you want to begin to encourage her to express herself in these ways. Encourage her to be that person, and probably most importantly, you want to acknowledge this version of her.
How This Will Help You
Will all this raise her attraction for you? It will raise her attraction a little, but it does more for building trust, rapport, intimacy; basically deepening her affection for you. If you’re interested in something long term with a woman, you need both her attraction and affection in order for her to completely fall in love with you. So, if you apply many of the other fundamentals of attraction that I teach, along with the ability to bring out her best, you will be raising both her attraction and her affection. This will only bring her closer to falling in love with you.
Of course it’s imperative that you use this along with the other fundamentals of attraction that I teach. Women are complex creatures and they need emotional stimulation on many levels in order to maintain her interest and attraction. Bring out her best, but you also want to bring out your best.
I Can Help You
Do you need some assistance in order to bring out her best? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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