Your fear of losing her is actually pushing her away because, it’s actually a sign of weakness and insecurity. If you’ve read any of my previous articles you would understand by now that weakness and insecurity are major turn-offs for women. They are actually repulsed by this sort of behavior from men. Women are attracted to strength in a man the way men are attracted to beauty in women. So, if you can’t bring yourself to roll in the hay with an obese, unshaven woman; your girlfriend, fiance or wife won’t be able to bring herself to do that with a weak, insecure man.
Not even the most confident man likes the thought of losing the woman he loves; however, you must get yourself to a point where you will be okay whether she stays or goes. When you’re confident in your value as a man your attitude will more or less be, “Hey, it’s her loss. If she doesn’t see my value, then the next girl will”. You can’t control what she does, or how she feels but, you can control what you do and how you handle the situation.
Fear of Losing Her Ruins Attraction
When men begin to get scared of losing their girl they tend to do and say things that project their fear. Women are very intuitive; much more than us guys. Once she senses this weakness in her man his value begins to plummet in her eyes. All women want a man of high value and prestige. They respect and admire these men, which causes a great deal of attraction. Most women will never admit to this but, what they really want is to be number 2 to their man of high value. They want to hitch their wagon to his star, so to speak. If a man begins to believe that his girl is better than him, she begins to feel that she has no choice but to believe him.
What You Fear You Attract
This is classic Law of Attraction which says, that which your thoughts are focused on will be attracted into your life. If you’re constantly worried about your girl leaving you, eventually she will agree with you and do exactly that.
Throughout most of my teenage years I dated the same girl, on and off. She was absolutely beautiful and she turned heads everywhere. However, she was also a very troubled girl who had a very rough upbringing. By the time she was 16 she was already living on her own. A beautiful 16 y.o. girl, living on her own, had plenty of parties and never lacked attention from men. She was constantly cheating on me. I’m sure more than I ever knew about. This caused me to become very insecure and I had a very hard time trusting any girls in which I became romantically involved. For many years after her I suspected most of my girlfriends to be cheating on me. I would continually question them about my suspicions. None of them were cheating but, after I went down that road of insecurity, they did begin cheating on me.
Eliminating This Fear
This fear of losing her comes from having limited options with women, which comes from lack of confidence and belief in your own value and self-worth. You need to start believing in yourself, in your own value and worth. Think about it, if you were good enough to attract your girlfriend in the first place, there’s no doubt that your girlfriend must have found you attractive when she met you. It’s really no different now, except that you have lost confidence in yourself somewhere along the way and you’ve begun behaving in such a way. The only reason your girl has lost attraction for you is because you’ve began to present the wrong attitude. Women are much more attracted to a man’s behavior and personality, than his physical appearance.
Change Your Mindset
Most of us have dated that girl where we don’t see much of a future. Yes, she’s kind of fun and you enjoy having sex with her but, you don’t see something long term with her. You really can’t screw things up with her because you just don’t care enough. You can take her or leave her. Have noticed that she’s really into you and always chasing you? It’s the classic, “the women I love aren’t interested in me but, the women I don’t care about love me”. The reason why is, because you’re communicating a message to her of having high value. You’re not going to compromise for her. You have no fear of losing her. This is an attitude that women can’t resist. All this indicates to a woman, on a biological level is, that you have great, strong genes. Now what you want to do is replicate this attitude with the women you actually care about. When you’re feeling insecure around your girlfriend, imagine that she’s “one of those girls”.
Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Your Mind
Most men are too afraid to cause their girlfriends discomfort because they think that this will cause her to leave them. This is simply not true. Women want to feel all the emotions across the spectrum. To experience all these emotions is part of the attraction they feel for you. There actually has been studies done that scientifically prove that women are most attracted to men when they were uncertain of that man’s feelings for them. I’m NOT saying you should play games with them, only not to be afraid to speak your mind out of fear of losing her.
On the other hand, if you’re playing it safe and “nice,” then your girl will likely get bored and start looking for someone who can light an emotional fire in her heart. This means someone who isn’t afraid to speak his mind and activate her emotions—both negative and positive. Don’t be too “nice” as it’s been scientifically proven to lower your value and make you less attractive in her eyes.
If you need some help with your fear of losing her and getting this behavior under control, or are having any issues in your dating and/or relationship please visit my coaching page and book a one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
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