Revealing too much too soon during the early stages of dating can really hurt your chances of an on-going courtship. Men and women both do this, but more so men, because guys think they have to impress the girl in order for her to like him more. This lowers a woman’s attraction, because it comes off like you’re trying too hard. It communicates to women that you don’t feel that you’re good enough. So, you have to explain to her how great you are. In reality, she’s already interested, otherwise she wouldn’t be out with you, or talking to you in the first place.
In another case, there’s where men feel they need to get all their baggage out on the table. They do this, because deep down they don’t feel they’re good enough. They do this as way to prepare the girl for why they’re not a better man, essentially making excuses. And yet there’s another instance where men confess they’re strong feelings for the girl, wearing their heart on their sleeve, hoping that she will like him more. After all, why wouldn’t she like him more when he has these strong feelings, however; it doesn’t work that way.
Revealing Too Much Too Soon
I used to do a lot of these things too and all it really does is kill the mystery for her, ultimately talking her out of liking you. Part of dating is getting to know each other, and part of the excitement is wondering what’s going to be revealed next. You have to look at this like a movie or a book. If you know what’s going to happen at the end, there’s really no reason to keep going. The mystery is ruined and it becomes boring. What keeps us continuing to watch the movie, or turning the pages of the book, is wondering what’s going to happen next; what kind of surprises, or twists and turns are around the corner. This is just how we’re wired. Our brain must find out where this is all going.
How To Be A Bit Mysterious
When I say you’re revealing too much, I’m not saying that you should lie to her or withhold information, per se. You just don’t want to be revealing too much information about yourself, or overshare your feelings too soon into the interaction. I’ve heard of other coaches suggesting that you should never give her a straight answer, to keep her guessing. To me that’s just playing mind games. While that may work, it’s kind of cruel, and if she figures out what you’re doing, she may do the same to you.
Try to focus any ‘getting to know you’ talk on her by asking her the questions. Fun, interesting questions; as opposed to boring, interview-style questions. This builds rapport with her. A great book I recommend reading is called, “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. This will really help you in this area.
By asking her the questions, it keeps you a bit mysterious. All the attention is on her. You can’t avoid her questions forever, because she IS going to be asking you questions as well. It’s best to keep your answers a little playful, but eventually she’s going to corner you, because she wants answers too. Just give her the answer to her questions without elaborating. This will have her asking more questions in a way where she’s slowly pulling it out of you. This is actually sort of fun for her. It’s challenging and mysterious, but not too much. You become kind of like a puzzle for her to solve, and it keeps her curious and invested in you. When a girl is invested in you, the more she’s going to think about you. The more she’s thinking about you, the more of the likelihood she will fall for you.
I Can Help You
Do you need help with some ideas on how to build sexual tension with your girl? Or perhaps you are having some issues in your dating and/or relationship? Please visit my coaching page and book a private, one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
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