I’ve been getting questions from you guys wondering what the harm in breaking no contact is. You must understand that, the ‘no contact rule’ is REALLY for you, so you can heal and begin to detach. A nice byproduct of no contact is, sometimes your ex will begin to miss you. They begin to feel that perhaps they made a mistake in breaking-up with you. There’s no guarantee that your ex will miss you or reach out. Personally, I’ve always used no contact after a breakup, long before it even had name. And in terms of an ex missing me and wanting to work things, it has worked about half the time. However, it’s worked for me 100% of the time in terms of moving-on. No matter what the circumstances are, short of you being the one who ruined the relationship in some way, breaking no contact is a mistake.
Dangers of Breaking No Contact
Breaking no contact for ANY reason (including; birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc) is dangerous if you’re hoping for a future reconciliation. It’s because you have to give her the time and space to get to the point that she not only miss you and realize that she made a mistake, but also because she needs to get to a point where she feels that unless she does something about it, she may lose you forever. If you break no contact, you’re essentially reassuring her that she still has you and you will be starting all over at square one.
You don’t want to initiate contact with her until you hear from her first. Instead, stay focused on your self improvement, indulging in your passions and dating new women. This will help keep your mind a bit distracted from her and also rebuild your confidence. You’ll slowly begin to feel the separation anxiety lift, and if or when she does reach out, you’re going to be a much better man. You want to be prepared for the possibility of her coming back to you. If you’re the same man which whom she broke-up, it might be okay at first, but you’re just going to have the same issues and end up breaking-up again. Then you have to go through this all over again.
No Contact Is Sending A Message
Outside of what I mentioned about no contact really being for you, so you can heal and move-on, most don’t fully understand what no contact communicates. Even you not saying a word is communicating a message. Women especially understand this, as their communication is much more subtle and indirect than ours. So, she knows that you not contacting her is actually a message to her without you having to say it. What no contact communicates to her after a breakup is; your emotional strength, your self respect, and your confidence. All these traits are very attractive to women.
If you were acting weak, needy, insecure or anything like that during the relationship or breakup, she’s expecting you to beg, chase, grovel and supplicate. By you going into no contact, you’re changing her perception of you a bit; to the point where she may begin to wonder if she made a mistake. She will be second guessing her decision to breakup with you and wonder if she totally misjudged you. Of course this is ONLY if she still feels some attraction for you.
If she’s completely done with you, there’s no turning back for her. However, you will never know for sure unless she contacts you. This could take days, weeks, months, years, or maybe never. You just never know. That’s why it’s so important that you begin to move on. You cannot put your life on hold for a ‘maybe’. It’s completely fine to want your ex, but you must show her that she is not needed. Women love to be wanted, but despise to be needed.
I Can Help You
Are you having issues staying not breaking no contact? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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