In terms of her attraction for you, this is a very important fact for you to understand. The more compliant you are to her wants and demands, the less attraction she will have for you. That doesn’t mean that she’ll be less physically attracted to you, or love you any less. It just means that she’ll FEEL less attraction for you. And when it comes to female attraction, it’s all about how she feels and having her emotions stimulated. Women are emotional beings and they need to FEEL attraction for you more than anything else in order for her to be and remain IN love with you. However, if you want her to be IN love with you, it’s important to understand that your compliance ruins attraction for her.
Your Compliance Ruins Attraction
Just so you understand, being compliant with your girl is when you’re obeying, or giving-in, to her wants and demands; especially when you don’t want to do it. When most men do this, they see that it makes her happy, which it does make her happy. So, for us we learn, if I do what she wants it makes her happy. We all want to make our girl happy, so naturally we want do the things that will bring her happiness. The problem with this is, that the more we comply with her wants and demands, the more her attraction drops.
I realize that this is completely counter-intuitive, that’s why so many men get it wrong. Our male way of thinking doesn’t comprehend, that giving her what she wants diminishes her attraction. That doesn’t mean that she will love you any less, but her attraction will drop a bit. This is where a lot of husbands and men in long term relationships screw up. They think it’ll be easier to just go along with what she wants in order to keep her happy. Over time her attraction drops so low that the sex and physical affection taper-off, or become non-existent. Then guys try even harder to make her happy, so they get more love and sex, and it makes the situation even worse. It’s a vicious cycle that leaves us frustrated and unfulfilled. And strangely, women are left frustrated and unfulfilled as well because, you’re no longer exciting and challenging. Your compliance ruins attraction for her.
Learn To Tell Her ‘No’
You have to learn to tell your girl ‘no’ or put your foot down when it’s something that you don’t want to do. Always remember, your compliance ruins attraction for her. She needs to be a little frustrated with you every now and then in order for you to maintain her attraction. I’m not talking about playing games with her and doing this purposely, only that you stand up for your own wants and needs first. This is much easier when you’ve just met or have recently begun dating, because you don’t care as much. If she leaves you because of this, it’s not that big of a deal because you’re not all that emotionally attached yet. Even if she DOES leave you, she will still have attraction for you. So, the chances of her coming back to you at some point are pretty good. Women love men of value and you communicate your value with boundaries.
You Will Have To Compromise
When you’re in a long term relationship with her you do have to compromise and comply with her sometimes if you want to keep her. There’s no way around that. Part of maintaining a loving, long term relationship is compromise. If you don’t compromise some of the time, she WILL leave you eventually. The trick to this is to not give-in every single time. Put yourself first. Deep down, you know when it’s appropriate to say ‘no’ to certain requests and demands from her.
Most men are either afraid to upset her, thinking that she won’t love him as much, or they feel that it’ll just be easier this way, so they give-in. Will she be mad or frustrated at this? Yes, there’s a very good chance of that. But, she’ll live and you’ve just jumped few notches up on her attraction scale. Just know that this is all internal; she’s not consciously thinking these things, but she IS feeling them. It probably would be much easier to just give her what she wants, but then you risk her attraction for you dropping. This all happens slowly, over time. So, you giving-in once won’t have that much affect, but you giving-in all the time, her attraction for you will begin to slowly drop until it’s non-existent.
Just remember, your compliance ruins attraction for her. In other words, the more you comply, the more her attraction will drop. The more she’s frustrated, the more her attraction will rise. And just to reiterate, if you want to keep her, you do have to compromise and comply with her some times.
I Can Help You
Need some help telling your girl ‘no’? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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