We’ve all made needy mistakes in our relationships from time to time. It happens. We’re human, after all. It’s not really noticeable to her on a conscious level if it happens once in a while, and it doesn’t have a lasting affect. It’s only making these needy mistakes all the time that it will eventually turn her off and send her running for the hills. One of the most sought after qualities in a man by women is confidence. Being needy, insecure and desperate is the opposite of confidence and it communicates low value. So, naturally these traits will turn women off. These needy mistakes are subtle and you may think it’s not a big deal. However continually doing them over time she WILL take notice. She’s not consciously keeping score in her head about your needy mistakes. Women are much more intuitive than us guys and she’s picking this up subconsciously. Eventually these mistakes will add up until one day it just dawns on her…you’re too needy.
Needy Mistakes Turn Women Off
It’s not about playing games, but being centered, confident and having emotional self control. You just want to let things unfold slowly, because girls really enjoy the mystery. Part of the fun of falling in love is to slowly discover things about the other person, and that’s for everyone, but women especially enjoy it. It builds anticipation and makes things exciting. Women like to wonder about you, discuss the relationship with their girlfriends, try to figure you out. It’s all part of the journey for them.
So, by relaxing a little bit and taking things slow it communicates to her that; one, you have confidence in where things are going between you two; and two, that you get it. You get that women want to be in a love story and by you remaining centered and giving her yourself little by little is attractive, fun and exciting.
Common Needy Mistakes Guys Make
- Over-Texting – Texting women too much will eventually come off as being needy. This means; initiating texting more than her, continually writing longer messages than her, and double texting. Men shouldn’t initiate texting more 20-30% of the time. And after you send her a message, wait until she responds before you text again. Blowing up her phone all the time conveys neediness.
- Confronting Her – This goes along with #1. If she’s not responding to your texts, or taking a lengthy amount of time to respond, don’t confront her about it. This just causes unnecessary drama. Assume that she was busy and let it go. I made a video about this not long ago.
- Being Too Available – This conveys a “I’m here for you” vibe. While it’s sweet, and you should be there for your lady when she truly needs you, you’re basically being her little puppy dog. As a man, you should be too busy with your life’s mission and purpose to always be at her beck and call. If you don’t have a purpose in life, find it. You will be much happier and less needy.
- Leaning into Her – This may sound ridiculous, but leaning into your woman communicates your neediness. It’s very subtle, however women pick this up on a subconscious level. When sitting or standing next to her, or across from her, lean back and take up space or stand in place. Let her lean into you. She will when she’s attraction for you.
- Compliments & Gifts – Showering her with compliments, gifts, expensive dinners, or even flowers communicates that you don’t think you’re good enough for her. Needy men feel that they must compensate with material things so she likes them more. Of course the occasional compliment and/or gift is completely fine, but when it’s truly from the heart.
- Gushing Your Feelings – Of course it’s okay to share how you feel about her once in a while, but doing before you create attraction is setting yourself up for the friend-zone. This also communicates that you’re trying to force thing along quicker than she’s ready. Always let her come to you at her own pace.
- Showing Up Unannounced – One of the biggest needy mistakes guys make is showing up to her house, work or place where she’s out unannounced. This conveys your insecurity and is stalker-like behavior. It will scare her and make her feel unsafe around you to the point where she may refuse to see you again.
- Overly Affectionate – Many guys show too much affection as a subtle way to try and force it from her. You should never show her affection to get it back in return. She will be affectionate with you when she feels it. Besides, women are repulsed by this behavior.
- Being Too Agreeable – This is when you agree with everything she says, or change your opinion to match hers. Many men do this, especially in the beginning stages of dating as a way to force a connection. This is typical “nice guy” behavior and she will eventually figure out that you have no backbone or opinion of your own. Again, you’re headed for the friend-zone.
- Relationship Labels – Having “the talk” or putting a label on a relationship is really the woman’s department. It’s feminine energy. A lot of guys do this to, again, force something with a women. In this case, a committed relationship or find out where they stand. Any confident guy doesn’t need a relationship label or find out where they stand with a girl, because he’s confident in his value and knows he’s her best option.
Needy Mistakes Lead to Rejection
As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, most women will not notice these mistakes if they are far and few between, but if you keep it up it will lead to you being rejected by her. This is when she will do things like; give you the “let’s just be friends” speech, start becoming cold and distant, blowing you off or canceling dates, and more. Just be aware of your actions and how she’s responding and should be okay. However, now is the time to get this area of your life improved. You will be less needy if you have more than her going on in your life. So, focus on building a fulfilling life that doesn’t include her or any woman. It’s also a good idea to date multiple women until you find one you like enough (and her you like you enough) to dedicate yourself to one.
Do you need help with your neediness issues, or are you having any issues in your dating and/or relationship? Please visit my coaching page and book a one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
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