One of the mistakes I see men making a lot with women is being too available to her. It doesn’t matter if she’s a girl you’ve been dating for just a little while or if she’s your wife. In order for her to feel that gut level attraction, she needs to wonder about you. She needs to wonder what you’re up to, why you haven’t contacted her, who you’re with, are you thinking about her–things of that nature. She needs to feel a little tension, but good tension, in order for her to remain attracted to you on an emotional level.
Women Need To Wonder About You
This is all part of keeping her emotions engaged and stimulated, which is needed for her to feel a spark. If you’re being too available to her and too easy, she’s not going to feel that tension that she needs to feel in order to remain attracted. The reason why is, because there’s nothing to wonder about with you. You’re not in her thoughts because she knows what to expect from you.
Contrary to popular belief, a woman’s attraction for you actually grows when you’re not around and she’s wondering about you. Her imagination is running wild with both positive and negative thoughts about you. The tension builds and she might become a little uncertain. This is typically when she begins to miss you and want to see you. If she can’t see you or connect with you when she gets to this point, that tension builds even more. She may start talking to her girlfriends about you, or stalking your social media. This is only keeping you in her thoughts and engaging her emotions even more. It’s kind of like a pressure cooker ready to explode and when she finally does see you, she’s practically all over you. Seemingly, she can’t get enough.
Being Too Available To Her Ruins Attraction
When you’re being too available, always reassuring her, always accommodating her; there’s nothing to wonder about. Her imagination is no longer running wild, because she knows and is certain about everything with you. This is one of those times when she pulls away a bit and becomes less available herself. You have become boring and predictable. Essentially, she’s taking you for granted. Most men reaffirm this by trying even harder to get her attention. Men become extra nice and even more available, or accommodating, hoping that this will bring her closer. However, what’s actually happening is that it’s pushing her away further.
While most of this is counter-intuitive, I’m sure can see how this cycle ends up with the guy getting dumped or friend-zoned, wondering what he did wrong. He’s thinking, “I was always there for her. We never argued. I always showed her or told her how much I loved her”. Of course there’s nothing wrong with doing all those things for her. In fact, it’s important you do so she knows that you care. However, over-doing it is what gets you guys into trouble. And a lot of times not even she will be able to tell you what you’re doing wrong. Logically, you’re doing everything right, but it’s not exciting her. It’s not stimulating her emotions. So, you can’t always be so available and open to your girl.
How NOT To Be Too Available
I’m NOT suggesting that you play games with her. Being too available to her usually stems from not having a fulfilling life; you have nothing else going on besides her. Instead, you should be filling your life with emotionally compelling activities, and don’t change or stop them just for her. Take care of yourself first.
This is one of the reasons why I suggest that you keep focused on your goals, passions and self-improvement. Your girl is an important part of your life, but your happiness is more important. She may fight you on that, but as soon as you give that stuff up for her, or to spend more time with her, her attraction for will drop like a sack of potatoes. If you don’t believe me, ask a woman who has gotten her man to change all those things for her, or monitor the interactions between the couple. That doesn’t mean that you don’t make time especially for her. It just means that you don’t drop everything for her. Women never respect a man who drops everything or changes his plans for her. And women don’t love men with whom they have little to no respect.
I Can Help You
Are you being too available to your girl? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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