Now, I’m sure that most of you have, at least, heard that women love mysterious men. I mean, men like a little mystery in a woman as well; however, most women understand how to do this naturally. Men, on the other hand, have been conditioned to constantly reassure women of their interest and love, and to always reveal their hand, fearing they will lose her if they don’t. Therefore, many men have little to no mystery about them at all. This leaves women with nothing to figure out about you, nothing to wonder about, and ultimately, no challenge about you. In turn, women will get bored because now you’re predictable. This is typically when they begin to pull away, act distant and their eyes begin to wander.
Mysterious Men Are Attractive
Having a little mystery about you is a very important ingredient to building and maintaining attraction with women. Personally, this took me a while to figure out. My female friends would tell me, “you need to be a little mysterious”. And I’d think, “what the hell does that mean? Am I supposed hide things from women I’m interested in?” However, over time I figured out that it wasn’t so much about hiding things from women, but it was more about not revealing so much, and so soon.
I’d go out on dates and find myself telling women everything about myself. I thought this was how to build comfort and a connection with women. While it may build comfort, it does absolute nothing in terms of building attraction. In fact, it had the opposite effect.
You have to understand that, women need to wonder about you and feel that there’s something about you to figure out. Because once a woman feels that she has you all figured out, her attraction for you drops like a stone.
Women NEED To Wonder About You
When I say ‘wonder about you’, I mean that they need to wonder what you’re doing, who you’re with, if you’re thinking about them, if you’re going to contact them, why you haven’t contacted them…things of that nature. Not being 100% sure about the answers to these questions is what makes mysterious men so attractive. She just HAS to find out!
It’s actually during these times when she’s alone, thinking about you and wondering about you that her attraction for you is growing. Most men think it’s when they spend more time with a woman that she’s falling more in love with them, but attraction grows in space. While it’s important that you do spend time with her, it’s really increasing her comfort and affection, not attraction.
How Does A Man Remain A Mystery?
So, how do you be mysterious? Well, like I mentioned, you don’t want to reveal so much about yourself. In fact, it’s best that anything you do reveal that, you give her the gift of slowly uncovering who your are and what you’re all about. She will want to talk to you more and spend more time with you just learn more about you.
Think of yourself like a book. She has to invest her time and turn the pages if she wants to know more, or to find out what’s going to happen next. If you reveal the last page of the book, she has no reason to continue reading. She already knows what’s going to happen.
The idea isn’t to hide things from her, just not to reveal so much, or to always be so available to her. So, when she asks you questions, answer her; but keep it a little playfully vague and ambiguous.
When she reaches out to you, don’t be so quick to respond. Let her wonder about you a bit; wonder where you are, wonder why you’re not responding right away.
When she wants to get together, don’t always be so willing to drop everything just to see her.
And you don’t always have to explain yourself all the time, even if she puts you on the spot. Less is more when it comes to attraction. As I mentioned, keep it a bit vague and ambiguous. Let her pull answers out of you. This is going to keep her interest, investment and emotions more engaged in you.
Married or Cohabitating Mysterious Men
If you’re married or simply live together, make sure that you have a life independent of her and your relationship. Just because you’re a committed couple doesn’t mean that you have to do everything together. Actually, both of you should have a life outside of the relationship and each other. Not only will this give both of you something to talk about, but it will also create a little mystery when you’re away.
Really, if you have followed what I’ve been preaching about; putting yourself first and being more focused on your purpose and goals, rather than catering to your girl, most of this will come naturally.
And this isn’t about playing games, it’s about pacing things between you two. If you’re going 100 miles per hour, full speed ahead, you’re going to end up creating burn-out for both of you. This is typically when women start saying these like, “I need a little space”, or “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”, or “I have to focus on me”. However, if you’re pacing yourself and the relationship, keeping things a little mysterious and challenging, she won’t be able to get enough of you.
Always remind yourself, it’s better for her attraction that she’s a little frustrated with you, than if she had full access to you whenever she wants. Her frustration is only going to increase her attraction, as long as you do make time for her where you can be fully present.
So, you must keep things a little mysterious and challenging for her in order to build and maintain her attraction.
I Can Help You
Have you noticed that your girl needs a little mystery in your relationship? Do you need a deeper understanding of why women find mysterious men attractive? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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