After a breakup one of the most common issues I come across when dealing with guys who are going through this is when they chase, beg and plead for another chance. This is the worst possible way to handle this situation. It actually causes her to pull away even further from you, always. There are a few cases where a guy can talk her into giving him another chance, but it’s usually because she feels pity for him. It’s not because she’s feeling love, respect and attraction for him. So, it never lasts this way. He must re-attract her in order to get another chance.
After A Breakup, Let Her Go
The best way to get another chance with her is to politely accept the breakup, walk away, go no contact and work on your own self-improvement. Almost always, unless you did something terrible to her like; you cheated on her, you were abusive or you really hurt her in some way, she will at least entertain the idea of giving it another go. More than likely she just needs a little time and space to sort through her emotions and feel what life is like without you, or to see if she misses you. Typically, she will miss you and eventually reach out to you at some point in the future.
Understanding Her After A Breakup
You must understand that whatever the reason she broke up with you is based on how she’s feeling. Most times it’s not a logical conclusion. What it boils down to is that she has lost attraction for you, for whatever reason. Have you ever heard a woman say something like, ”I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. I should love you because you’re such a great guy, but I’m just not feeling that way. Something is missing”.
She’s not feeling that spark or chemistry that caused her to fall for you, or be interested in the first place. Many times, women don’t even totally understand why they’re feeling the way they do. Even weighing the facts in your favor, she may still come to the conclusion to end things with you, because it’s just how she feels. In a lot of cases, women will stick it out in the relationship when she begins to sense things going sour, hoping things will change. So, by the time she does end things with you, she’s let the attraction fade quite a bit, which is even more of a reason not to chase or beg.
Why Chasing and Begging is Bad
Begging and pleading after a breakup is really a form of chasing her; it’s trying to force her to change her feelings. What this is communicating to her is that you’re weak and needy, and you don’t have enough confidence or respect for yourself to let her go. A man with confidence in this situation would be thinking, “If you want to leave, it’s your loss. I’m a catch and if you don’t see that, the next girl will”. If she breaks-up with you because you turned her off by being weak, needy and insecure, begging her is just confirming to her that she’s made the right decision.
How You Should Handle A Breakup
The best response to her breaking-up with you is to tell her something like, “I’m disappointed by your decision & this is definitely not what I want. I love you & I really want to work this out”. If she agrees, then you two can take the necessary steps to begin to work things out. If she’s adamant about going through with the breakup, just politely accept her decision and tell her something like, “Get in touch with me if you change your mind”. Then never initiate contact with her again for any reason. This means no happy birthdays, no happy holidays, no sending her flowers or gifts, no liking or commenting on her social media posts. Nothing of the sort. Radio silence. You’re just going to let her go and give her the gift of missing you.
You’re going to want to begin moving forward with your life and work on self improvement, from there. You should always be working to better yourself anyway, with or without her. If she misses you, she’ll be reaching out to you at some point in the future. Remain strong and centered at all costs. She may even begin to feel that she made the wrong decision. She’ll be back, if it’s meant to be. If it’s not meant to be, why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want you anyway?
Do you need some help with your breakup, or are you having any issues in your dating and/or relationship? Please visit my coaching page and book a one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
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