I’m not sure how the typical first date ideas became so commonplace. Most of them are a terrible ideas. You may not think planning a first date is all that important, but she’s going to remember you and associate you with the way you made her feel after the date. Usually, after a first date, women don’t go home thinking, “well, he took me to a fancy restaurant and spent a lot of money. So, that’s a couple of points.” Or, “He took me to that movie I told him I’m dying to see.” That’s thinking in logical terms, and women think more about how you made them feel on an emotional level. She’s going home thinking about how much fun she had with you, if you excited her or not, how the conversation flowed, how you treated her-those kinds of things. Or maybe she’s going home thinking, “well, that night was a dud”. My point being, it’s more about how fun and interesting you were, and much less about the fancy places you took her, or how much money you spend.
Terrible First Date Ideas
Most guys go into the first date either try to impress her with money or gifts, or to prove their boyfriend potential. This is completely the wrong way to go about it. You’re trying too hard and she’s going sense that. As I’ve stated many times, women are much more intuitive than us guys and they pick this stuff up quite easily. You just want to focus on having fun and getting to know each other in an environment where laughing, flirting, being playful and touching all flows effortlessly.
I’ve actually have already publish a blog post on how to plan an awesome first date. So, today I’m going steer you away from some very popular, yet terrible, first date ideas to help increase your chances for a second date.
Like I mentioned, spending a lot of money on your date is done for one reason and that’s to impress her, or as a bribe for something in return. Women know exactly what you’re up to. This includes expensive or fancy dinners. Dinner as a first date is bad by itself, because it puts a lot of pressure on both of you to talk in a rather uneventful atmosphere. Typically, these kinds of dates turn into the equivalent of a job interview. That spells “boring”. You want the focus of your date to be on having fun, flirting, touching and getting to know each other. One without the other defeats the purpose of the date, which is to spark sexual attraction in her.
Movie dates are another bad idea, because it’s too difficult to get to know each other. It’s the complete opposite of a dinner date, where you’re forced to talk. When you take her to the movies, you can’t talk at all. Yes, you spend time together, but you never really get to know each other. How are you supposed to laugh and flirt with her when you can’t even talk to her?
Going out with a group of her friends, or a group of your friends, is a high pressure environment. Either her, or you, will be uncomfortable. Even more uncomfortable than you already are on a first date. One of you will end up being grilled by the others friends, where they’re asking a ton of questions. And you won’t get to really spend any kind of quality time together. Worse case scenario is, one your friends may be thinking they’re helping you out, or putting in a good word for you. They could actually say something really stupid, making you look bad or like a pathetic loser. On top of all that, it’s going to be a LOT tougher to get a kiss, or for things to lead any further than a friendly vibe. A friendly vibe is not what you want to communicate so early-on in the courtship.
Going to see some live music can be a lot of fun and quite entertaining, depending on the band of course. However, much like taking your date to the movies, you can’t really talk much. The music is too loud and it’s a crowded atmosphere. Again, much like the movie date, it defeats the purpose of a first date.
This communicates a very serious “relationship” vibe, and it’s way too soon for that. Like a group date, this is another a high pressure situation. Your family will more than likely be asking your date questions, such as, “when are two getting married? Are you planning on having kids?” Things like that have happened to me on more than one occasion and it can be quite embarrassing. I highly recommend against this kind of date in the beginning. It doesn’t matter if your family is cool and laid back. She could get quite uncomfortable and think that you’re pushing for a relationship way too soon.
A Date at Your Place
By inviting her over to your place for a first date, even it’s cooking her dinner, basically communicates; why don’t you come over for some sex. Even if that’s all you want out of her, this is not a tactful way to go about it. You must understand that women are very fearful of being put into a situation where they can be overpowered and forced into something. Even if you’re not that kind of guy, it’s going to be something she’s thinking about. It’s best to save a date like this after you have the first couple out of the way.
Of course, all these kinds of dates are perfectly fine once you two have been together for a while. As I mentioned before, the idea is to just have fun, get to know each other and at least have the opportunity to get a little closer and convey a lover vibe; not a friendship vibe.
I Can Help You
Do you need help with some fantastic first date ideas? Or perhaps you are having some issues in your dating and/or relationship? Please visit my coaching page and book a private, one-on-one email coaching with me and we will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
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