A lot of men screw things up with a woman they’re dating, or even in a relationship with, because they’re over-pursuing her. Sometimes their over-pursuing is obvious, other times it’s very subtle. Either way, a woman senses this by your actions and the overall vibe you’re putting out. Over-pursuing her communicates neediness–a need for her attention, her affection, her touch, her love or even a need for her commitment to you. Consistently needy men are one of the biggest turn-offs for women. However, don’t confuse neediness with showing her that you love her and care for her, which we’ll cover in another article.
Signs You’re Over-Pursuing Her
These signs alone don’t necessarily mean that you’re over-pursuing or acting needy. It could mean that she’s just having a bad day or perhaps she’s a bit hormonal. You have to pay attention to what’s going on with her; ask questions and assess the situation. Because, over-reacting and thinking she’s pulling away from you could also cause her to shutdown emotionally, thinking that you’re losing interest in her. However, these signs will make you aware that you could be overdoing it and you need to back-off a bit. Consider these signs as a test & the more you show that you’re unaffected by her tests, the easier it is to pass them.
She’s Taking Longer to Respond
We’ve all been through this. She would respond to your texts or calls almost immediately. Suddenly she’s taking hours to respond and you know she has already read your text or saw you called. In this case, do not do anything more until you hear from her no matter how long it takes.
Short, Usually One or Two Word Responses
This is a big indication that she’s just not ‘feeling it’ at that moment. It doesn’t mean that tomorrow won’t be a 180 degree turn, but for now she’s not feeling it. In this case, just stop. If you’re in the middle of the conversation, politely end it and go about your day or evening. Let her reach out to you, or initiate contact, next time. She will once she begins to miss you again. So, just give her some space. Women get bored easily and over texting kills attraction. If you must text her, keep it fun and interesting, and always get out before it gets too boring. Think of show business and end the conversation on a high note.
She Cancels Dates
There will be times when she has a legit reason why she needs to cancel, but she’ll more than likely reschedule a date if that’s the case. If she cancels a date without rescheduling, you can bet that she’s not that excited to see you. If you’re experiencing this, simply tell her to get in touch with you when she’s free. Then don’t contact her until you hear from her again. If you continue to contact her trying to get her to go on a date is a classic sign of over-pursuing her.
She Will Not Agree to a Date
If you can’t get her out on a date at all, it’s either because she’s just not that into you or there’s no urgency to see because you’re over pursuing her. Essentially, she knows that she has you. Again, just tell her to get in touch with you when she’s free and stop contacting her. If she really wants to see you, she’ll be in contact with you eventually.
She Shows Little to No Affection
What I mean here is, that perhaps she’s not calling you those cute pet names; or there’s no emotion in her kisses, or worse, she gives you the cheek. Perhaps she pulls her hand away when you go to hold it. These are all pretty clear indications that she’s just not ‘feeling it’ in that moment. Don’t try to force it, nor talk to her about it; that will only push her away more. Let go of the need to be validated by her affection and do your best to focus on just having fun with her. She’ll close the gap when she’s feeling the spark and/or chemistry again.
She Has Little to No Sex With You
This is one of the biggest signs that she’s losing attraction, or has completely lost it. However, this could be for a number of reasons; over-pursuing her is just one of them. Of course there will be times where she’s just not in the mood, but if she consistently deflecting your advances, there’s something wrong there. Many times, a woman that has a high attraction for you wants it more than you do. On the flip side, a woman that has a low attraction for you, or has completely lost it, doesn’t want it at all.
These are all common signs that you’re over-pursuing her. If you don’t stop, you WILL lose her, as these are all very unattractive characteristics. A woman loves a man that she has to earn. A man that easily gives himself to a woman, or feels that he has to chase her, communicates low value. Women are not attracted to low value men.
I Can Help You
Do you feel that you’re over-pursuing her and need some help turning the situation around? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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