One of the biggest mistakes men make with women is smothering her. This falls in line with being needy and/or clingy; it’s really all the same thing. Many men don’t even realize that they’re behaving this way. They’re “just being themselves” like so many women and friends tell them they should do. And when someone like me tells them where they’re turning women off, they become very defensive. Of course I’m not saying that you should be someone else, nor pretend to be something you’re not; only that you need to be a better version of yourself.
The problem with this smothering, clingy, needy behavior is that it will eventually repulse her. This is when women begin saying things such as, “Ugh…I wish he’d just be a man!” So, if you want success with one, or many, women, you need to do away with this behavior. Because, if you’re smothering any girl, you’re on your way to dumpsville.
Signs You Are Smothering Her
As read through these signs that you’re smothering her, you want to see how they apply to your current or past relationships. I’m sure just about all of you have done, or are doing, at least one of these. Most men do! You have to understand, that it doesn’t matter if you’re doing one of these, or all of them, you are going to push her away with this behavior. All women want a man with confidence, a man who won’t fall apart emotionally because she’s not showing him attention at the moment. There are NO women that want an insecure, weak and overly-emotional man. If this is you, it’s time to pull up your boot straps and make some changes.
Below are the top 6 signs you’re smothering her with your love and neediness.
Needing Her Constant Reassurance and Validation
This is when men are asking her if she still loves him, or why she would be with a guy like him. Perhaps he’s doing and saying these things hoping to get it back in return; like always telling her how much he loves her in order to hear it from her. Of course there’s nothing wrong with telling your girl that you love her but, you have to be cognizant of where she’s at emotionally.
You never want to tell a woman that you love her unless it’s authentic and from the heart. You don’t do it to hear it in return. If it’s you always telling her and she rarely, if ever, says it in return, it’s time to reel in all the ‘I love yous’.
At first, you asking her if she loves you, or why she’s with you, won’t be seen this a big deal. But, after a while it’s going to drive her crazy and she’s going to realize that you just have no confidence in yourself.
Always Wanting To Spend Time With Her
Of course this seems sweet at first but, it’s pretty much the epitome of you smothering her. Some guys (and girls) feel that because they’re a couple they must do everything together. This is not a good idea but, a topic for another article.
Some guys cling onto her so tightly because he’s afraid some other guy is going to snatch her up, right out from under him. This is essentially extreme ‘mate guarding’ but, it really only communicates your lack of confidence. You’re actually driving her into the arms of another man this way.
Always Calling or Texting Her
I recently made a video about over-texting women, which you should watch for a more in-depth perspective on this topic.
Now, a lot of guys do this as a way to not only stay on her radar but, also as way to keep tabs on her. No matter the reason, you being in constant contact with her, especially if she’s busy with her own career, children or school, is going to drive her up the wall. It also communicates neediness, clinginess, and again, a lack of self confidence. All major turn-offs for women.
Trying To Control Her Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior
A lot of men feel they are justified with this sort of controlling behavior. Forbidding her from talking to certain guys, or hanging-out with particular girlfriends they don’t trust. This could also be things like, checking up on her, like I just talked about; or this could even be asking her why she doesn’t call him pet names anymore, or no longer sends cute texts. Some women kind of like this at first because, they mistake it for being masculine energy but, they soon realize that this is nothing but controlling and insecure behavior. Eventually this turns her off to the point where she can’t wait to getaway from him and have a some freedom.
Making Her The Center of Your Life
So many men make this mistake! It’s either because they has nothing else going on his life, or because societal conditioning has taught him that this is what women want.
Women do not want to be the center of your life, guys. They want to be a compliment to it.
Getting Upset At Her Lack Of Respect
To be clear, this isn’t the same thing as your girl showing isolated incidents of disrespect, which will happen from time to time. This is when she has lost ALL respect for him for various reasons, but he expects her to continue showing respect. It’s kind of like I mentioned in the beginning of this article, he’s just being himself and he expects her to accept and respect that, no matter what. However, he doesn’t do anything to improve himself, he has little ambition, and usually continually complains about it or takes his unhappiness out on her. On top of that, if he’s unhappy he will be naturally leaning on her for that happiness; hence, smothering her.
There’s much more to all this but, this is the gist of the signs and behaviors that you’re smothering her. The key to dropping this behavior is building a fulfilling life full of your passions. She can be part of that fulfilling life; in fact, she’s going to want to be part of it but, she cannot be the center of it.
I Can Help You
Do you feel like you’re smothering her and need some help turning that around? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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