I came across an article the other day that was talking about certain actions men take with women that actually make them look desperate. It was making me chuckle a bit because, the article talked about all the things I have told you guys, whether in my videos, my articles or in private coaching, what NOT to do. These acts of desperation not only ruin her attraction, but some of them actually scare the hell out of the girl. Women need to feel safe and comfortable with you in order for her to let her guard down. And she must drop her guard a bit in order to allow the seduction process, or the actual relationship, to flourish. I’ve written an article about why women lose interest and attraction for men , and neediness is probably the biggest one. All these acts of desperation convey your neediness, and neediness is a turnoff, man.
10 Mistakes That Make Men Look Desperate
Most of these mistakes that make men look desperate happen in the beginning stages of dating, but some do carry over into any long term relationship, as well. Just because you got the girl, doesn’t mean that you can begin acting desperate, weak and needy without consequences. You can never believe that once she’s your girlfriend or wife, that she’s yours forever. As author Rollo Tomassi puts it, “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn”.
Showering Her With Gifts
LOTS of men make this mistake when dating a new women. And It’s perpetuated in movies, TV, books and more. By showering her with gifts, flowers, extravagant dates, etc. it communicates that you’re trying to buy her love and girls know it. Only buy her these things when you’re already in a committed relationship. Even then, it should be done very sparingly, otherwise it will not be seen as something special and from your heart. Plus, women will often come to expect all that extravagance when you overdo it from the beginning.
Professing Your Feelings Too Soon
Professing their feelings way too soon in the interaction is what many men do instead of flirting and building attraction. Most men are very impatient when it comes to sex and romance. So, they want to skip the emotional foreplay and get right to the good stuff. However, this kills the mystery and challenge for her, and it does the opposite of building attraction. Plus, moving too fast often scares women.
Talking about you two like you’re already a serious, committed couple before SHE has brought up the topic, or had ‘the talk’ with you, is trying to force a relationship with her when she’s not ready. Not only that, but again, it takes away the mystery and challenge for her, which will hurt her attraction. When this happens, it’s usually the time she begins to pull away or tell you that things are moving too fast for her, ultimately telling that she’s just not ready for a relationship right now.
Making Plans Too Far Into The Future
What I mean here is, talking about plans WAY into the future. Again, this communicates a relationship vibe and it’s essentially putting pressure on her. It’s kind of like you’re hinting at a relationship without actually saying it, but it’s really the same thing. Of course there’s nothing wrong with making future plans, just not too far into he future when the future is uncertain.
Asking Her If She’s Seeing Other Guys
At the advice of a buddy when I was like 18, I always did this when first getting involved with a girl, but this communicates insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness. Not only that, but this will be a red flag to her of what’s to come, which is even more insecurity, jealousy and possessiveness.
Always Being Available To Her
If you’ve been following me, you know I’ve about this very topic in the past. Actually I’ve made videos on many of these topics, but I digress. When you’re always so available to her it communicates that she’s the center of your world and you have nothing else going on. Women want to be a compliment to your life, not the center of it.
Showing Up Unannounced & Unplanned
Lots of men think this is romantic and charming. It is in the movies but, in reality, this scares the crap out of women and they think it’s quite creepy. It doesn’t matter if it’s her home, work or somewhere where you know she’ll be, never ever do this. It’s a quick way to get a restraining order and ultimately turn her off.
Writing Longer Messages Than Hers
Most men aren’t cognizant of this, or even realize that this makes a difference. When she’s giving you one or two words, or sentences and you’re writing her a novel equivalent in response, it’s you trying to force a conversation. It’s needy, it’s boring and that’s why she suddenly disappears from the text exchange and/or takes forever to reply.
This is another topic I’ve covered in the past. If she doesn’t respond to your text message, do not write her again until you hear back from her. Double texting communicates neediness and your impatience, which are both turn-offs for women. Give her the time and space to respond, no matter how long it takes. Maybe she’s just busy.
Confronting Her About Not Responding
If you’re going to be confrontational with your girl, be sure it’s for a good reason because, it’s only going to create unnecessary drama. Yes, girls love drama, but their own drama, not male drama. That’s only a turn off.
So, if you catch yourself about to do any of these things, be sure to think it through before you do, as it will only make you look desperate and needy. We see a lot of these behaviors from men in movies, TV or even in our friends and family. So, we feel it’s okay, but it’s not. It will do more damage to her attraction for you than you realize and ultimately hurt the relationship. And watch my videos on these individual topics, as I explain what you should do instead if you catch yourself about to do any of these.
I Can Help You
Are you having issues that are making you look desperate? Perhaps you are having some other issues with your dating and/or relationships? I can help you. Please visit my coaching page and book private, one-on-one coaching with me. We will get to the bottom of this and get things turned around for you.
Be sure to also check out my recommended reading for further learning about game, women, dating and relationships.
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